How to Move Beyond Compartmentalized Thinking to Build the Dad Life You Want

Caleb Roose
Sep 17
4 min read

By Caleb Roose

My whole life and mind used to be organized in boxes.

There was the work box: when I was at work, I was present at work.

And there was the home box: when I was at home, I was present with my family.

But then the 2020 pandemic hit, and it all came crashing down like my kids' box forts.

Like so many other dads, I was forced to work from home, and the boundary between work and family life quickly eroded. Suddenly, the way I had organized my entire life—through compartmentalized thinking—could no longer support the situation I was in.

The Strengths and Limitations of Compartmentalized Thinking

While compartmentalized thinking came up short for me, it isn’t all bad. In fact, it has some real advantages:

It enabled me to be present wherever I was.
It helped me manage stress in the moment.
It empowered me to focus and be productive.

But the pandemic revealed some rather large blind spots:

Compartmentalized thinking didn’t help me when work and home collided.
It didn’t teach me healthy ways to relieve stress (it just boxed it up).
It didn’t prepare me to adapt to life’s unwelcome surprises.

While compartmentalized thinking is a useful tool, it’s not enough on its own.

That’s why dads need to add two additional thinking strategies beyond compartmentalization: holistic thinking and systems thinking.

Compartmentalized Thinking vs. Holistic Thinking

Holistic thinking is about seeing life as a whole.

If compartmentalized thinking is like zooming in on individual pixels, holistic thinking is zooming out to see the entire picture. Holistic thinking enables you to recognize that while you may be a worker, a dad, a partner, a friend, and a son—you’re still one person.

And because you’re just one person, your various roles will inevitably collide (as they did for so many of us during the pandemic and in work and family life ever since). And when the different boxes of your life crash into each other, compartmentalized thinking can’t help—but holistic thinking can.

One way to begin with holistic thinking is to identify your top values in life, so you know which roles to prioritize when conflicts arise.

Knowing what you value most in all of life is what helps you answer questions like:

Do I take this promotion, or do I prioritize family time?

Do we move across the country for an exciting new work opportunity, or do we stay close to extended family?

Do I pursue a new career path, or do I stick to my current trajectory?

When the boxes begin to tumble, holistic thinking helps you step back, see the big picture, and make wise, values-driven decisions.

Compartmentalized Thinking vs. Systems Thinking

While holistic thinking gives you the big picture, systems thinking helps you understand how the pieces interact and influence each other.

For systems thinking, rather than boxes or pixels, your life is more like cogs in a watch or the parts of an engine.

When one part of your life is out of sync, the other parts don't operate well either.

That’s why:

Unexpectedly coming home late from work throws off the whole family’s rhythms (and your kids go to bed at 9:13 pm rather than 8:00 pm).
Taking a sick day with your kid forces you to play catch-up the rest of the work week.
Adding exercise, rest, or play back into your life can make everything else feel better.

Systems thinking reveals the ripple effects of the small and large changes in your life—both good and bad.

Systems thinking also reveals why making a change in your career can make such an enormous difference for you and your family when you're feeling stuck at work.

When you're fulfilled at work, you show up at your best at home.

When work sucks the life out of you, you and your family suffer.

Career coaching can make all the difference in building a career that works for you and your family.

Why Dads Need All Three

In the end, compartmentalization, holistic, and systems thinking aren’t competing strategies for approaching life—they’re complementary:

Compartmentalization helps you focus and be present wherever you are.
Holistic thinking keeps you aligned with your values in work and family life.
Systems thinking empowers you to make decisions that will benefit your whole life—not just one aspect of it.

Together, these three thinking strategies give you the tools you need to thrive in work, family, and personal life.

Ready to Make a Change?

I’m here to help.

I’ve worked with dads all over the country, who, just like you, wanted to build careers and work-life balances that fit both them and their families.

If you want to learn more, book a free Discovery Call to see how my proven step-by-step coaching program can make all the difference.

"Pivoting out of a longstanding career is daunting for anyone, but as a dad and husband, the pressure felt immense. I worried that a wrong move might ruin our lives. Reaching out to Caleb was the best decision I made during this uncertain time because he truly understood the challenges I faced…. Caleb guided me through my thought process, helping me not only identify potential career paths but also rediscover who I was. My previous job had consumed my identity, and with it gone, I needed a guide to help me in my journey to my new sense of self. Caleb was that guide. Now, I have a much clearer picture of my identity. Through Caleb's guidance, I approached my job search with greater clarity and confidence and was able to land a role that fit who I am."

—Calvin Chu, father of 2